Winging It – Finding the Perfect Wing Woman

a good wingwoman

Winter is almost upon us here in the Mother City. It seems that most of my friends have suddenly coupled up and found their snuggle bunny (or a puppy) in order to keep warm during the season when the wonderful people of Cape Town lock themselves indoors with all the illegally downloaded episodes of the favourite series and copious amounts of chocolate.

Being a Brit however, I refuse to use the bad weather as an excuse to stop me from finding my Darcy (plus, he kissed Bridget Jones is the snow, so I think there is something romantic about winter too ). If I was still living in the UK and I let a little bit of rain prevent me from going on the prowl I would end up a 30 year old virgin (and yep I am sad to say I know a few of those).

Anyhow, the main problem with my loved up friends going to hibernation this winter is that I am left without a trusty wing woman to support me, both literally (when I am stumbling out of a bar drunk) and figuratively. Yes, I am self-centered and everything is about ME. To make matters worse, its not easy an easy position to fill. She really does have to be a jack of all trades and a master of everything.

So here are the main things I think a single girl like myself needs to consider when interviewing for potential candidates for Cape Town’s Next Top Wing Woman:

A good judge of character (but not judgmental)

A good wing woman needs to be able to tell you if you are going for a complete paedo or serial killer (yes, the one time I didn’t consult my friends was the time I ended up having to escape from a date with Hannibal Lector). But while she needs to have your back, you also need to feel comfortable to get your flirt on in her presence without being judged for your taste in granddad types, metro-sexual guys, ethnic fantasies, or whatever. In any case, one of those bitter twisted stay-at-home types who have sworn of men for life is never going to make it very far in the wing woman auditions.


She is willing to take one for the team

There are times when a wing woman is going to have to entertain your potential beau’s less attractive/boring friends while the man of the moment is busy removing your lipstick at the other end of the bar. I once had an epic wing women who actually found photographic evidence of how good a team player she was – a selfie of me and that night’s hottie, with her in the background fighting off the advances of one of Cape Town’s local pervs. I promised her she’d be bridesmaid at the wedding if I ever married that dude but that never happened (sorry chick!).

She has different taste in men

I am a firm believer that every woman (even your all time BFF) has the potential to be a frenemy. Why? The existence of MEN. As soon as you and your wingwoman start swooning over the same guy there is going to be trouble, even if she ‘lets you have him’ there is always going to be bit of animosity. The simplest way to avoid this problem is by finding a buddy who has the very different taste in blokes. So you can focus on those brooding hipsters and silver foxes while she plays Mrs Robinson to all the young boys of the Cape.

She may in fact be a HE

If we stop and think outside the box a little we might realise that our ideal wing woman is actually a wingMAN. There are lots of benefits to hanging out with your male bestie including but not limited to the following: a) he can give you an insight into the male psyche and tell you whether the dude across the bar really does fancy you, b) you probably won’t worry so much about him ending up chopped up into small pieces at a local shebeen in Gugs c) hopefully he won’t have eyes for the same guys as you (if he does, you might have a problem on your hands), and d) you can get you guy friends to play along and make the potential beau a bit green.

Now over to you rinsers. Show some love for your best wing people by telling us how they’ve helped you find love in a hopeless place (or at least get lucky).



  1. I never had a wingman always been a solo act when it came to dating women. So the insight I could offer would be very different. I have been a wingman to my best friend once. He was trying to pull two women at once. One was a waste of time and not worth his effort the other was worth the time. I told him to drop the first one and run to the second woman. He followed the advice and married the second woman. They have been married for 35 years.


    • Also, unfortunately I think for most people kissing the frogs is a part of the process. Very few people naturally know what they want and deserve and making mistakes is okay if we learn from them.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, and that is why we need a good wing woman to allow us to make mistakes, then help us learn from them without being all judgemental and self-righteous like those boring bitter twisted cat ladies 😉


      • Cat ladies and dog ladies and in general ladies who are haters of manhood are not to be listened to when it comes to men. They just want you to be as miserable as them to keep blaming guys for being useless otherwise they may have to accept the fact that there’s something wrong with them and they should work on themselves.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t understand how anyone could be haters of manhood. If nothing else, we can use them to make babies (and more importantly buy us wine) 😉


      • Didn’t drink ? Sacrilege !!! After all booze is the blood of Christ.

        Didn’t want kids? I think most women are programmed to have babies. Even though we deny it sometimes and say we prefer partying the night away, all we really wanted is to be wanted and needed by one of those bundles of pewk. But that’s a story for a whole other blog post.


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