The Ethics of Dating

Before the advent of the internet when cavemen/women didn’t have the likes of Tinder and OKCupid single gals, like myself, had no real reason to consider ethical questions surrounding the process of dating. In the dark ages Mummy and Daddy decided who was good enough (i.e. had lots money and status) for their little girl and had the association approved in the eyes of God, so there were no moral dilemmas to contend with. However, as a modern-day lady, searching for Prince Charming on her own steam, one has to make tough decisions with regards to their behaviour. Decisions that might result in frowns of disapproval from the audience.

Since I entered the big bad world of singledom, I have had my morals UNFAIRLY questioned by my friends. Let’s start by defining the term dating. For me right now, this means playing the field, going on dates to cool (preferably swanky) places with no strings attached. I am not promising anyone anything other than MY TIME. Take it or leave it. All I am agreeing to is a single date…NOT a second date, a fling, bedroom antics, a relationship or marriage. Nothing. Nada. Niente.

Now we’ve got that sorted, let’s discuss some of the things I’ve been called out on…

White Lies

There is this widespread belief that online dating services are full of unscrupulous individuals just trying to take advantage of earnest singletons naively looking for love. While I agree that there are some real dodge people out there, I don’t see any harm in a employing a little artistic licence.

I went on a date once where Mr Big Fat Greek decided to scrutinize my profile word for word. I was told that I was not ‘an open book’, in fact I wasn’t a book at all so why was I using such cryptic language to describe myself.  While I can bypass a person’s spotty face and general dullness, stupidity is not something I tolerate and as heart-breaking as it was I had to NEXT this one.

While I don’t think it’s OK to lie about your age, sexual orientation, academic qualifications or the wife and kids you have hidden at home, I don’t believe it’s a crime to exaggerate a little (although I am pretty fed up of people telling me they are MARATHON runners, when in reality they do the 5K Park Run).

Dating Frogs

Dating is a numbers game. But is it wrong to date boring/unattractive/elderly guys when we know there’s no future?

Never judge a book by its cover, isn’t that we were taught? He might look unattractive online but be far more dapper in the flesh (truth be told, it’s usually opposite).  Or maybe he just doesn’t have a way with words, but makes up for it in another department? You’ll never know unless you are willing to give it a try. Regardless, it is good dating practice for when a real catch comes along.

I think we should always give people a chance. Not the serial killer types, the ones that invite you to their flat for a first date and those who can’t string a sentence together, but the slightly dowdy ones – why not? After all, everyone has a right to be ‘loved’. And most of those poor guys have been rejected before – do I really want to be another biatch who broke their spirit? NO! So I’ll take one for the team, kiss the frog, boost his ego and do my service to humanity.

Buying Love

Rinsing can humorously be defined as ‘the traditional version of courting in which a man chases a woman before she decides to grace him with her full affection.’ In other words, making him PAY.

When it comes to paying the bill, I am a traditionalist who believes (at least at the dating stage) in old-fashioned gender stereotypes, where, while I might fake the ‘purse grab’, in reality it’s a basic requirement that any potential suitor is financially stable enough to buy me a drink.

Some may consider this a mild form of prostitution and argue that I should be liberated enough to pay my own way. But in the grand scheme of things, ladies we are not going to be equal to the men-folk anytime soon. After all we live in a world where there are more men named John running FTSE 100 companies than women.

Basically guys have had a few extra millenniums to get rich, so rinsing a few beers (or a sandwich toaster) is simply leveling the playing field. And beyond all the ethical arguments, I don’t see blokes (well maybe the broke-ass ones) crying about it, actually I think it makes them feel good, like BIG MEN.

Let me shut up now and wait for the onslaught of HATE in the comments below.