5 Excuses of A Sad Spinster

I don’t blame you for thinking I am a bit bi-polar, especially after me Hating on Dating last week. But after much consideration (not really), I’ve decided to put an end to the man-ban. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being single. In fact, taking some time out to figure out exactly what you want and what your deal breakers are is a good thing. But let’s not kid ourselves. As much as we might put a brave face on things, I don’t truly believe that there is any girl out there that honestly wants to become a Crazy Cat Lady.

I’ve encountered enough spinsters and 30-something virgins to know of all the lame excuses used to justify the fact that they’ve basically given up on the idea of ever finding a man. Here are the main ones:

1. I am focused on my career and have no time for men

I hate to tell you this, but there are women far more successful than you that are managing to make millions and save the world all with a hot man on their arm.

2. Men are douche bags. I hate them all

We’ve all been there. Everyone has had their heart broken. If it wasn’t the ex that promised you happily-ever-after, it was probably the Dad that walked out on the family while you were sleeping. There is no doubt that it sucks, but ask yourself whether blocking out the whole of the opposite sex is making you a happier person. Probably not.  Get some tissues, deal with your issues and then go find yourself one of the 2% of guys that aren’t total deadbeats.

3. I am happy living alone with my cats/dogs, the only people (?!) that will never hurt me.

Yes, it’s true. These sentient-beings will love you unconditionally (well, until the lady down the street feeds them gourmet food) and they might even keep you warm at night. But can cats/dogs/mice,etc really compensate for human interaction (and bedroom acrobatics)?

4. No man can meet my high standards, so I stopped searching

OK, so we can sit here and debate whether soul mates truly exist for an eternity. I don’t have a definitive answer on that one. But successful relationships are based on compromise. Sure, Hollywood has given us unrealistic expectations but maybe, just maybe, that bad boy that’s a bit rough round the edges can be transformed into a Prince Charming when he is under your spell. Also as we get older our priorities change so maybe those ‘high standards’ you set in your 20s might become a bit more realistic as that biological clock ticks away.

5. I am a feminist – I am capable of living without a man.

Good for you but I’m a fan of a more pragmatic brand of feminism – the one where you realise that while you are pretty much capable of doing most things yourself, sometimes it’s just more effective to use your feminine prowess to get a Tinder boy to do it for you. I mean why would you waste your time setting up a complicated sound system, when you can have your legs up on the couch reading while he exercises his grey matter (believe me, he needed to, so I was doing a service to humanity).

Basically, what I am saying is that my rather short stint at the nunnery has now served its purpose. Maybe I’ve been indoctrinated by all those Disney movies I watched as a little girl, but I’d rather be a hopeless romantic any day than resign myself to life as a sad spinster who spends her life cuddling her hoard of kitties while forever forever judging those single girls with their head in the clouds who’ll never give up the search for their Prince Charming.

Now Rinsers, give us your take on Spinsterhood in the comments below …