The Hook-up Culture

The urban dictionary defines the verb “to hook up” as both making out and having sex with someone. Therefore when someone tells you that they hooked up with X ot Y you can never be sure what happened unless you asked for the details. Some people, especially females, tend to take pride in not sleeping with people but just hooking up in the making out sense as grinding against a stranger and stimulating their genitals through clothes (or not) is unlike having actual sex, considered better (read: less slutty). Let’s, however, leave the nonsense of sex related issues for another post and focus on the hook-up culture itself.

What is the hook-up culture? A culture that accepts, if not encourages, short term bonding for sexual purposes. Of course you can hook up with a friend or upgrade “vibing” into a relationship with a hook-up but in general what’s meant by the term hook-up is meeting someone at the bar/going out on a date and doing something (basically a stranger or a semi-stranger is involved).

The popularity of the phenomenon is quite obvious.You often hear about Tinder being good for hook-ups only and I’m sure that the “dating app” disguise may fool many ladies looking for love. Some gentlemen are open enough to confess that they’re after hook-ups only and bless them for that, at least chicks looking for something else will swipe them “no”. Even OKCupid, being an open dating website, had to address the issue and has a tick “casual sex” among its options when setting up THE “I’m looking for” section of the profile.

Is hook-up culture a bad thing? There are definitely some positive aspects of it. Human beings are sexual and having an opportunity to satisfy these needs without being judged is better than suppression as it may lead to guys hidden in the bush near beaches and wanking while staring at ladies in bikinis (true story from Tunisia). It’s also much better to screw around than to get married just because it’s the only way to get laid which is still the case in some conservative cultures. Last but not least, I think it’s good for people to have an opportunity to realize that sex can be an empty experience and as much as it can satisfy some of our needs, it won’t quench our thirst for affection or the feeling of loving and being loved.

On the downside, the hook-up culture may make it more difficult, particularly for men, to be open about wanting something more than sex. After all, in the world which values the numbers more than the depth and contentment in male-female relations, a partnership seeker may not be the most popular and respected one. The ladies are also affected negatively, as they’re valued not for their personalities but for their attractiveness and the fact that they own a vagina. Of course, some of the ladies may be minimizing men to be merely penis owners but as I discussed in my post, I doubt it’s often the case.

To summarize, the hook-up culture like anything else has its pros and cons. I think as long as people are honest with others about what they want it’s fine to do whatever. Unfortunately, we are often ashamed to admit to ourselves that we want love and believe to some extent that sex is enough to make us happy. It’s easier to keep believing so, if everyone around us seems to be doing the same thing.

Now, Dear Reader, please share your views on the hook-up culture. Can the Western culture be referred to in this way? Or is it an exaggeration and hook-ups are nothing more than a marginal issue?