Baggage

Unless you’re part of that dying breed of people that marries their high school sweetheart or a 30-something virgin who looks more likely to live in an old-age home before having a meaningful contact with the opposite sex, you’ll probably have a fair few relationships/ encounters before you decide to settle down. With each relationship we enter into (and exit from), we get a better idea of what we want in a future husband/wife by establishing those all-important deal breakers and (hopefully) learning from our mistakes. Unfortunately with each failed relationship, we also accumulate baggage. Baggage can come in many different forms. We all have it in some way or another. When it comes to matters of the heart one must ask themselves whether a person’s baggage can be ignored as a minor nuisance or whether it is a total liability?

In some cases, the baggage is glaringly obvious (i.e. it’s clearly visible in their Tinder profile picture – them holding a baby or with their wife on their wedding day). But there does come a point in life when we all come to terms with the fact that we might have to consider widening the pool of potential suitors and settling for someone that is not conventionally ‘perfect’.

Take for instance, the fairy princess who goes against her better judgement, ignores a non-negotiable factor and agrees to go on a date with a Baby Daddy. Even though, this conjures up bad memories of the homeland she escaped from – a nation of CHAVS, where men father numerous children with different chicks just to get more booze money from the state – there are no other potentials on the horizon so she has to take what she can get. Turns out the Baby Daddy isn’t a complete chav but actually an investment banker (kerching!!! – dollar/rand signs appear in the fairy princess’ eyes) but sadly she senses he has a drinking problem (as he knocks back several whiskies) – possibly bought on by the stress of custody battles/screaming children. Furthermore, a little digging reveals he is not over his ex, in fact he is still married to his Baby Mama.

There are also instances where the baggage is little bit more discreet (more like a small carry-on as opposed to 50 litre backsack) – these cases require a little more vigilance on our part. Perhaps the person has some emotional scars from a previous relationship, which means he constantly stalks your Facebook or checks your phone to reassure himself that you aren’t cheating on him with his brother or best friend? Or maybe she is so intent on proving to the world that she is not her WISO mother’s daughter that she can’t take even the slightest joke relating to her sexcapades? Or the polar opposite, a boy whose father set a bad example, which now gives him reason to justify his philandering ways? The list goes on and on and on.

All this does make me wonder though… How much baggage should we be willing to tolerate for love? Is there are risk of our partner’s baggage weighing us down to the point of exhaustion? Or is it simply a test of our love? If you truly love someone should you be willing to share the load and help carry their baggage? And how about our own baggage ? Should we regard it as a turn-off and try to hide it from a potential partner or is it something that is bound to resurface at some point further down the line? Share your thoughts in the comments below.