The Allure of Mr Grey

Let me start by giving you a rather simple piece of advice – DO NOT waste your time on anything Fifty Shades of Grey.

Why? Well, if one day you find yourself slightly curious about what all the fuss is about – just get your pervy mind out of the gutter and watch some porn instead. Reading the Fifty Shades trilogy by EL James will only serve to kill a few of those precious brain cells, just take my word for it. If you must, then see the movie (although, even with this, I would have thought they could have condensed the trilogy into a single movie without dragging out the torture)

Despite my negativity I am ashamed to admit that I’ve read all three books and seen the movie too (#zlotybaby watched it too!). I did draw the line at the sequel though…I really don’t need to go through this rather anti-climatic story again from the perspective of Christian Grey. In defence of my error of judgement in indulging in mummy porn, I can say that despite the questionable quality of the literature, there are a few things that account for the unprecedented success of everything Fifty Shades and A LOT that Mr Grey can teach the average Tinder Boy:

Good Girl/Bad Boy Story

Fifty Shades offers a twist on the classic good girl/bad boy love story – something that many women can relate too. Anastasia is a young, naïve, slightly awkward virgin who (literally) falls into the office of the dashing Mr Grey. While everyone knows that Christian Grey a very bad boy in the bedroom department, he has a sweet vulnerable side that is only revealed to his dearest Anastasia. Women like pet projects – unearthing the secrets of Christian Grey’s messed up past is Anastasia’s project.

Christian Grey – The Brooding Alpha Male

It’s been established that we live in a world where most men are more interested in playing computer games and crying to their mamas. So it’s understandable that lots of women found some solace in the pages of the Grey Trilogy. Christian Grey may not be perfect but he is does exhibit certain attributes of the old-school alpha male that is so rare these days. He doesn’t feel the need to talk about his feelings at every opportunity. He takes care of himself (always running and gymming) and capable of fighting off all the baddies unlike real-life men who’ll run away screaming at the sight of a field mouse. I’m not necessarily pro whips and chains but I’d choose the guy who could take control of a situation over the one who needs his mummy’s approval on everything.

Money, Money, Money

Money makes the world go round and Mr Grey has LOTS of it. He insists on spoiling his woman/women (he even looks after his ex-submissives – which is rather odd, I know) by ensuring that they have a wardrobe of designer gear and a red Audi A3. And get this – he has a handful of luxury holiday homes, a grand piano, a yacht, a private jet and a helicopter …I doubt there are many woman that would turn down the opportunity to ‘chase the dawn’ with a man who could fly his own helicopter.

Boring Sex Lives

Now for the sexy time element that is after all the central focus of the book. All I can say is that the success of 50 Shades only serves to show that most people are either a) singletons experiencing severe sex droughts or b) supposedly ‘loved up’ but suffering from really really dull sex lives. I mean there must certainly be an element of fun swinging from the chandeliers (although, I am sure one could have just as much fun doing this fully-clothed) but really fifty shades doesn’t tell you anything that you couldn’t find out by visiting your local branch of Adult World 😉

What are your thoughts on 50 Shades? Love it? Hate it? Why are so, so, so many people into it? Share your thoughts in the comments below.