‘Tinder without the Poor People’- Is Selective Dating the Answer?

selective dating

When it comes to dating it seems you can never win. If you are too picky you get branded a bitch and if you are ‘nice’ like yours truly then you just end up hating on dating. My approach to dating has always been to give anyone vaguely decent (i.e their opening line isn’t DTF ??? Which for the elders among us stands for Down To Fuck?) a chance. The justification behind this all-inclusive approach is that I really don’t expect to find my Prince Charming on the internet (this is NOT what fairytales are made of!) but I do think of it as a good way of extending my social circle and possibly having some fun along the way. And who knows maybe that socially-retarded guy that got beaten with a ugly stick has a hot brother he could introduce you too?

Sadly, by being a ‘nice’ girl and employing non-discriminatory dating practices has not really got me very far. Out of +/- 30 dates, I’ve probably met 3 or 4 guys that I’ve crushed on somewhat, but even then none of them were really compatible. Sure, going out on dates for the sake of it does help improve your social skills and I’m definitely more confident around blokes because of it. But eventually, after you’ve explained why you relocated to South Africa for about the millionth time, the novelty of free wine wears off and leaves you a bit disillusioned.

So what is the solution? Well apparently there are lots of people in the same boat as me – just fed up of dating and not being able to find any quality men out there.Does the problem lie in the fact that Tinder/OKC are open to everyone and their dog? Would employing a little bit of exclusivity make the issue of sifting through all the deadwood a little more manageable? Sure, these apps allow us to use filters to narrow down the search but this doesn’t actually prevent someone from lying about their vital stats online.

We are all busy people and we don’t have time to stress ourselves out analysing the minute details of any potential date we may embark on. Well, over in the First World it seems they have come up with a solution. Dating apps which keep out the ‘undesirables’. For example, The League is an app developed in U.S of A that vets all its members to ensure that they are all high-achievers. Anyone wanting to join needs to give the app access to their LinkedIn profile and even then apparently there are around 100,000 people on the waiting list. Crazy !!! In the UK, they have an app called Luxy which is dubbed ‘Tinder without the poor people’ where members have to have an income of GBP 100K per year. I know its incredibly un-PC but I have to say I do secretly love the idea. At least you know none of those guys are going to be taking you to McDs on a date!

I can’t honestly say how I feel about these more selective dating apps. I have to admit that while much of the LOLs I’ve had through dating has been thanks of the so-called ‘undesirables’ but there comes a point when the whole process of being ‘nice’ to lame mummy’s boys with no banter just becomes tedious. Perhaps it’s time to let someone else do the vetting?

OK, so over to you Rinsers. How to feel about these selective dating apps? Are they really any different from allowing us to filter our choices according to race, education, political leanings, etc? Or are these apps just exacerbating social class divisions and could they potentially stop us from ever meeting our Prince? Give me your views in the comments below.


  1. Take it for what it is worth to you but you might want to consider changing your approach to on line dating.To say you will not find your prince Charming on line is setting yourself up for failure. You forget I did on line dating that’s how I found my wife and yes I met a few loonies on line but it would be wrong for me to classify everyone that way and be wrong to say will I know I will never find my one and only on line. See my point?

    Liked by 1 person

    • The only reason I say such a thing is because I have my head in the clouds…maybe I watched too much Disney. But yes, internet dating does work for some people. I’ll keep going because a) it can be entertaining and b) the other options might end up turning me into a sad spinster !


  2. Man get a bad rap and sometimes deservedly so but women play games or don’t know what they want either. So let’s just say some people lack certain skills that we desire in our significant others. The main reason why people act so looney on dating sites is because …they hide behind the laptop or tablet or Iphone or whatever device they use. Nothing on Disney ever prepared you for life in the 21st century with all this technology. But getting back to my point from before, on line dating itself isn’t the problem and yes your Prince Charming is waiting out there for you , is he on line…Maybe, but if you keep saying to yourself that he isn’t …then you set the wheels in motion for failure and you settle …just so you won’t be a sad spinster, which you should not even think along those lines.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I haven’t heard of Luxy. (race to go google it). But I must say if I earned 100k I would indeed be intrigued. From what I understand TInder is everyone, and I mean everyone. And yes, one of the the things thats put me off is the time it takes to analyse each and every “wink”, “like” or messages. I can’t keep up. So dating sites that breaks it (personalities, interests, etc.) down helps. If only I earned 100k. The first dates would be amazing, nevermind about the date himself. LOL! Have you heard of MouseMingle.com ? A dating site for Disney fans. I love Disney. But there could be weirdos. Like dressing up, role playing if you know what I mean. All I want is someone who will enjoy a romantic night in watching a Marathon of disney films and fangirling all over them.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.