An Ugly Heart – Does Bitterness Effect Your Attractiveness?

 

 

“If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until you can hardly bear to look at it.

A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts it will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.”

― Roald Dahl, The Twits

Life is hard. Whether it’s unemployment, lack of job satisfaction, loneliness or being unhappy in a relationship – we all have problems. These things can take their toll on a person. And sure some people certainly have it worse than others. But it’s often the way people deal with their problems that is important. Some people understand that life is unfair but they choose to look at the positives and try to find ways to overcome their issues and then there are some that constantly complain, feel that the world is plotting against them and say everyone else has it easy. At the end of the day, it’s all about having a positive mental attitude.

Anyway, getting back to the point of my post. Have you ever noticed how a person’s attitude has a direct impact upon their looks/attractiveness? Sure, the definition of what is ‘pretty’ varies depending a number of things such as where you are in the world, the point in history and your social grouping. Regardless of how we define beauty – can a person who is bitter and constantly complaining ever be really attractive to a member of the opposite sex? Well, maybe if they too are miserable, they’d get along perfectly whinging about the world for evermore and living miserably ever after. But who really wants that?

Let me draw on some of my own real life experiences here. I once had this ‘friend’ who had a tough start in life and a handful of bad relationships which resulted in a distrust of people and the male variety in particular. Fine, you could say each to their own. Everyone has a right to dislike whoever they want. But you see, this ‘ugly heart’ attitude doesn’t stop there. I find that it permeates through into every aspect of the person’s life – they are constantly critical of everyone around them, when they see a person fail they like to say ‘I told you so’. At the end of the day, despite having nice clothes, lovely hair and great skin, the negative attitude simply served to alienate everybody, especially the group she despised most – MEN!

On the flipside, I’ve also know (NB still know) people who despite not being what society would define as ‘pretty’ continually to manage to attract nice people and have happy, healthy relationships.  Because these people have good self-esteem and are comfortable in their own skin they seem to exude unprecedented amounts of happiness (despite all the bad things life throws at them) and because of their good energy EVERYONE wants to be their friend. While the Tindeverse may swipe left of these folk because of their wonky noses, chubby cheeks and crooked smile in the real world (the place that really matters) everyone just sees sunbeams and thinks they are lovely.

To conclude, I know the world isn’t so black and white and even the ‘happy hearts’ have bad times but you get my point. If one chooses to focus on the negative aspects of their life and wallow in self-pity this bitterness eventually infiltrates their heart essentially making them not just unattractive but overwhelmingly unloveable (to everyone except perhaps the dog – and as #zlotybaby once said ‘of course these sentient beings will love anyone who gives them food!’). As for myself, let’s just say I’m working on it – thankfully my experiences with ‘Ugly Hearts’ has taught me that no amount of heartbreak should make me a hater of men, and although some of the blokes I’ve met on my adventures have made me roll my eyes, for now I’ll just laugh it off and keep on swiping because ultimately it’s a choice between happily ever after or life as a sad spinster.

Dear Rinsers – Have you ever met, or dated, a person with a pretty face but an ugly heart or vice-versa? Do you think that a person’s attitude to life and relationships has a direct impact on their attractiveness? Answers and stories in the comments below.