The Incel Issue – Should We More Sympathetic Towards The Sexless?

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We all know getting lucky on Tinder isn’t easy at the best of times. Even in those good old pre-pandemic days, even a somewhat pretty, somewhat smart individual would likely encounter their fair share or weird and wonderfuls before eventually settling for someone who wasn’t a sociopath, mentally unstable, or a complete troll and had a matric certificate.

Now, we aren’t exactly living through the best of times, are we? It’s hard. A lot more people than usual would have quite reasonably become born-again virgins during this pandemic and who could really blame. Sure, everyone loves their regular dose of bedroom cardio but sex droughts are a part of life. Deal with it.

Or…Join a support group. What better way to solve your issue than by hanging out with other sexless souls to bitch and moan about how you’ve been dealt a bad hand in life because no one wants to shag you? Believe it or not, such a support group really does exist. Enter Incel.

I first came across this monstrosity when I read about the Plymouth Shooter where an unhinged man went out and shot 5 people before turning the gun on himself. As much as I’m critical of my (ex) country, mass shootings are pretty rare, to my knowledge. And I think Brits do consider themselves somewhat more civilised than our friends across the pond who feel the need for firearms while we fend off bad hombres with swords or our bares hands.

Anyway, the gunman in question was a proud member of Incel. A support group for blokes that considered themselves to be ‘involuntarily celibate’. Of course, living in this age of WOKE where anything goes, I’m sure I’d be expected to sympathise with the plight of this poor sexless fool. And of course, I’m sure it could be argued that you can’t hate on a whole support group because one guy went on a rampage. After all, alcoholics beat up their wives all the time (hence SA’s love of prohibition!) but surely that doesn’t mean we need to hate on AA (i do slightly, but that is a story for another post!). But the fact is this not a) the first or b) the worst incident of an angry Incel taking their sexual frustrations out on innocent members of the public.

These days we are all about being understanding to alternative lifestyles and such. And as soon as you call BS on anyone’s beliefs, the WOKE brigade will surely come down on you hard. But as the recent incident with my not-so-secret role model, Piers Morgan vs Meghan Markle demonstrated – we should be allowed to challenge ridiculous accusations/ideas and call people out without always trying to comprehend their way of doing life. And that my dear rinsers is why I’m going to tell you, why we are under no obligation to sympathise with the sexless.

So here goes :

No One Is Entitled To Sex

Sure, we live in a sex-obsessed age. But honestly, even the most seasoned WISO isn’t getting as lucky as the world may have you believe. The fact is sex is not a basic human right. We all have to work for it (without even being paid, even!). As I have always said, men/womXn or whatevs, won’t simply fall from the sky as you sit at home, lazy AF – doing puzzles, drinking wine and moaning that no one loves you. Whether it’s happily ever after or a little boom boom pow, you need to put yourself out there. It really is a bit of a numbers game. As is the case with job applications, the chances are most of us will experience our fair share of rejection…it is part of the game. Sure, it’s hurtful but you do learn to roll with the punches. So the bottom line is that even if you have super model good looks, you aren’t guaranteed sex. You need to put some effort in. So stop hiding behind a computer screen and start swiping, hitting the club or head to a brothel. It all requires some work on your part.

You Need To Work On Yourself Instead of Blaming The World

Naturally, whether it is about beauty, brains or money – there are certain attributes that make it easier for some people to get laid than others. It is easy to blame the world for your problems. But if you look at every rejection you’ve experienced in life – what is the common denominator? I hate to break it you, but its YOU. So do a little introspection and try to figure out what is stopping you getting lucky. Do the girls you go for always end up choosing to date a guy with a basic level of education? Well, go back to school and get that matric certificate. Feel that guys prefer skinny yoga chicks over you? Perhaps it is time to hit the gym or relocate to Africa (where they prefer chicks with curves in the right places). Whatever the issue might be, it is often not about them, it’s about you. So speak to your friends, exes (if you have any), or a professional therapist to figure out what your issues are and work on them.

Hanging Out With Like-Minded People Might Offer Some Comfort But It Won’t Get You Laid

So there were periods in my life when I was going through a drought, hanging out with 40-something virgins offered me a degree of comfort. They showed me that my situation wasn’t that bad and that there is always someone worse off. Like, you haven’t had glorious sex in a year, well there are people who haven’t had it in 40 years, so go figure! From this experience, however, I’ve learnt that hanging out with those ‘worse off’ doesn’t really help matters. Sure, you can sit around bitching and moaning about how all men/women are trash and it feels a little cathartic but surely it would time better spent doing something productive and taking steps to get closer to your goal.

Thankfully, even in my down days, I realised that hanging out with seemingly ‘like-minded’ people wasn’t constructive. In fact, I would go as far as to say I realised that prolonged virginity/celibacy (regardless of wether its voluntary or not) is a contagious disease. So, perhaps rather than forming support groups and shooting the breeze with other incels, a better way of dealing with the issue would be to surround yourself with people you’d like to be more like – WISOs, Sex Pests or just generally beautiful folk. Hopefully some of their good energy will rub off on you and you’ll be getting lucky in next to no time.

Money Can’t Buy You Love But It Can Pay For Sex

I’m sure there are people out there that want to debate whether prostitution is right or wrong but the fact is that it is the oldest profession in the world and pretty much exists everywhere. Therefore, it pretty much gives our incel friends no reason to complain about their plight. If you are involuntarily celibate and the issue is not that you can’t find yourself a meaningful relationship (which is harder to find) but actually just can’t get laid, here you have yourself the perfect solution. There are a lot of real problems in the world that money can’t solve but let’s face it ‘involuntary celibacy’ isn’t one of them.

Anyway, jokes aside. The truth is dating/relationships/’meaningless’ sex is never going to be easy. Nothing that involves dealing with other humans ever is. It is difficult for everyone but most people complain to their mates, then get back on the horse and try again. The incels, just like the female counterpart (the haters of men) are truly toxic unhinged people who we really shouldn’t feel any need to sympathise with or even tolerate. In fact, we should do whatever we can to stop these folks from gathering, multiplying and spreading their bad energy on the internet.

So rinsers, do you sympathise with the sexless? Is a sex drought anything to get so worked up about? Share you thoughts in the comments below.


  1. I wrote a long post on this topic myself although sadly it’s fallen victim to one of my many purges. Lol. As you wrote, Incels and sad boys who can’t get laid aren’t the same thing and it’s frustrating that the term gets lobbed at all vaginally-challenged men but that’s what happens on the Internet. I’d written that I was a proto-incel in that all of the bitterness toward women was there and I championed all the slogans like “women don’t like nice guys!” but I, fortunately for everyone, grew out of that. Still, I have sympathy for them because I know where it comes from. Our society does a poor job of teaching young men how they should behave in all avenues of life, not just love (in fact it teaches them basically the opposite in my opinion but that’s a much longer discussion, haha).


    • It would have been great to read your post before the purge!

      I think it’s normal for people to go through periods of feeling sorry for themselves. And chicks go through the same.

      I honestly don’t like this defeatist attitude from either side. I’ve had enough girl. friends who have that ‘all men are trash’ vibe …. well, go be a lesbian then, idiot. Ugh, I can’t even.

      As I said, sex isn’t a basic human right. Most people have to work for it in some way or another. And it’s not any of us got lessons in dealing with other humans…it’s something you learn over time.

      Either these fools need to get back out there and keep trying OR resign themselves to a life of gaming. Either option works, as long as you stop shooting other innocent people and make your sexual challenges everyone else’s issue.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Right, and a lot of my guy friends who were in the “poor me, nobody will let me touch their boobies” camp weren’t even grossly unattractive or anything… they just had a shitty attitude and never put themselves out there. As much as people want to believe that people should judge “the real me” (whatever that is), that will never be reality. And sure, some women DO only date pieces of shit… but why care? Does any man really want to be in a long term relationship with a woman who consistently makes terrible live decisions? lol. Not me!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. So while I agree with what you’re saying here for the most part… has anyone ever called incel a support group? I’ve always heard about it being referred to as a “subculture” or an “internet group”. These guys are problematic because they’re mostly busy hating on women and growing their entitlement. I also don’t think they care for anyone’s sympathy, unless you’re a woman who’s so sorry for them that you’ll sleep with them 😀

    A support group for guys like this would mean a group where people discuss their problems and try to find solutions, which is obviously not the case. Sure, some people use support groups to just moan about their problems, attending it for years with introducing no changes to their life… but many people find genuine help there in terms of how to improve their lives.


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