zlotybaby

Social Media Attention Seekers

FacebookIn the times of Facebook and other social media attention seekers have a whole new platform to complain, brag and in general to make sure that everyone knows what’s bugging them at the moment. In relation to dating I think it’s just a good thing to have access to our potential love interest’s social media as it allows us to get a bit more insight into their thinking and possibly notice red flags.

Don’t get me wrong, we ALL like to occasionally seek attention on Facebook, especially if we’re maybe feeling a bit under the weather and need support. These you-look-awesomes and it-will-all-work-out-wells can be very consoling at times. However there’s a difference between occasional weakness and constant production of similar contents. Let’s have a look at the following categories of Social Media Attention Seekers:

1.Look How Beautiful I Am when I’m Half Naked

We’re not talking selfies, we’re not talking fancy clothes, we’re talking bikinis (not worn on the beach) and lingerie. You sort of wonder what sort of attention this girl seeking. There’s no doubt that she’s good looking but does everyone she knows or rather has on Facebook has to know how she looks like without clothes? The extreme version of these are pictures suggesting that they’re actually naked and only covering up their most intimate parts. Maybe I’m being a prude but I honestly can’t see another reason for these behaviors than trying to fill the void where self-esteem should be by getting comments about looking good half-naked.

2. I Am Very Sad and/or Angry 😦

Ah! You would think that the times of wanting all world to know how unhappy we are and that our parents are THE WORST parents in the world finishes somewhere around 16. Clearly not for everyone. Some people still find some twisted pleasure in posting their every tiny unhappy moment including #themilkhasgoneoff and #someoneparkedatmyplace. Some of these people should realise how lucky they are. I don’t think it’s healthy to remind ourselves at all times that there are starving children everywhere around but maybe our friend’s car accident could put the horrible tale of how we had to go all the way to the shop to get a new carton of milk a bit into perspective.

3. I’m an Activist and I’m Changing the World

It’s good to have a cause in life. It’s even good to share things that you think are important on Facebook even if it’s the fact that a horrible polititcal party won the elections in Poland that everyone else has already shared. However, what isn’t that great is constantly reminding people around what your cause is. The moment everything you put on social media from your private account (!) relates to this one issue it just becomes too much. Your Facebook friends didn’t join a website educating the about the right to contraception, the evils of religions or animal testing, they become friends with you for the person you are and you are surely much more than your cause.

I’m sure I’ve been guilty of many of these in the past and we occasionally do silly stuff. Remember, however, that the abovementioned behaviors may make you send red flags to people. If there’s so much of you on Facebook people may start to wonder whether you only live on the Internet. You can either try to be more moderate in your behaviors OR simply make sure that when you become Facebook friends with someone you like, they already like you back and it’s too late for them to run away.

So, Dear Rinsers, are you guilty of these behaviors? Do you find them irritating? Tell us your #story 😉

36 comments

  1. Oh my, after reading this I just thought I need to put a certain half naked picture of me down! I was super excited about my weight loss and that’s the real reason I put it up there.
    I can relate to most of the other users you highlighted I see them everyday on Twitter.
    I don’t think realise that they will be spending too much time online and end up oversharing so let’s hope and pray that they start making a few changes before people start unfollowing them.
    Great post by the way 🙂

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    • Yes, as I said throughout the article we’ve all been there. I also had some belly dance pics on but now when I reflect on it, it was just because I didn’t feel that great about myself that I was uploading these so that others may make me feel better about myself. I think that most people can notice the tendency – the better your life, the less time you’re spending on social media. I just hope these types will realize that. I’m glad you’ve liked the post 😊

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  2. I can added a few other types: Those whose digestive system apparently ceases to function unless they post a picture of every bit of food and beverage they consume; those who are incapable of doing anything, including going to gym / watching Netflix / listening to a song / sitting on the couch without validating the existence of that mundane act by posting a selfie of them doing it; the “mystery writers” who post things like “Big changes happening” / “OMG I can’t believe this!!!!” and relish on the inevitable comments of “what happened??” And lastly, the lazy attention seekers, who want to soothe their withering self-esteem with some superficial attention but are too lazy to phrase a sentence to that end, and post something like “……” / “!!!!!” and such.

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  4. I’m pretty guilty I have to admit that I am totally a facebook whore. I like to check in everywhere (my excuse is that if I ever go missing someone will be able to find me).

    I’ve never posted naked or semi naked pics of Facebook, but I did get almost 80 likes on my new hair colour and that brought a lot of glee into my life in what would have otherwise been quite a bleak period.

    Yes, there are lots of people who use social media to show you how miserable and sad they are. But I think more people use social media to show people (and sometimes a pesky ex) that there lives are good and they are having fun and moving on. But often it’s just a facade. We don’t necessarily see pictures of them crying under the duvet covers or slitting the wrists. I read this thing once (of FB lol!) which said : ‘One day your life will be as good as you pretend it is on Facebook’ and I think it’s very true. If people were actually happier and more fulfilled they wouldn’t need to have such phat brags the whole time. But ho hum we are all slaves to social media these days.

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    • There’s a lot of true in what you are saying. We all have our weaknesses but I think it’s still okay as long as we know them and we choose not to change them. My post was inspired by a girl that keeps posting semi-naked pics and gets involved in flirty convos with all male commenters. It comes from insecurity and I recognize my earlier self in these behaviors. The point is to know why you’re doing it. Posting a lot on Facebook is often a nice procrastinating pass-time. Having your mood changed depending on how many likes you got isn’t.

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  5. This is a post everyone needs to read about how people really see you on social media. Many perspective employers will check out your Facebook page to see what you are all about. When they see half naked pictures or Comments that are vulgar. ..they are less than incline to hire no matter the qualifications of the applicant. Also remember once you put it out there it’s there for all to see…for a longtime. And it does for opinions of how people see you.

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  6. I happened to post a blog yesterday tagged, ‘Attention Seekers’ and today I was wondering how many more might be out there already by fellow-pissed-off-souls who share my feelings. I was rather amazed that, most turn out to have been about Facebook just like mine. 😁
    In your post you were totally like speaking my own mind, but it was rather interesting to hear it through another person’s words.

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  7. […] In all areas of life, people are in competition with one another to have bigger(!) and better experiences. If it’s not about who can go the most exotic holiday, it’s about who has the craziest sexperience story to share with the world (as I said, with fewer boundaries these days, it won’t be too shocking to find people oversharing their sex business all over Facebook). […]

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  11. The reason why people use social media to begin with boils down to the fact that everyone is seeking an audience. People want to be famous. That’s the underlying psychological reason which prompts people to use social media.

    In reality, most people’s lives are dull and boring. Same shit, different day. Social media gives people a platform to make their lives look a lot more interesting and exciting than is actually the case in reality.

    The truth – is that we all like receiving attention to varying degrees. The problem, as I see it, is that social media takes attention seeking to a whole new level and that’s ultimately not a good thing for anyone. The world already has enough over-inflated ego’s!

    Whatever happened to common sense I truly don’t know.

    These folks who constantly attention-seek on social media need to get a grip, seriously. If there is one piece of advice I could give to these people it would be this: Get it in to your head that nobody truly cares about you or your life and that sticking something on a page for others to see will soon be forgotten about within a very short period of time. Your life is just one life among dozens of other lives that people are strolling through on their i-phones and giving likes too.

    Your wasting time and time is short.

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    • Hi Leigh! Thank you for your comment. Very good timing of this comment as well, I’m considering quitting social media and I’ve completely forgotten about this post.

      Yes, I think it’s a real problem how we seek attention through social media and find pleasure in it. After all, most people really don’t care as you say. Getting this like on your wedding picture doesn’t mean anything. Hell, people like your picture, tell you you look beautiful and then tell someone that they hated your dress. It’s a very superficial and rarely honest approval system. I think we really should learn that it’s important to impress the right people some of the time rather than to please all your Facebook feed. It’s also about what people like on social media that is concerning. It’s just conformism, basically. Getting married or having children will get you more likes than publishing a groundbreaking study on cancer. What message is that sending? When you truly stand out people are actually less not more likely to be supportive of you because everyone wants to be special and how do you dare to actually achieve it.

      I do think, however, that there’s some potential in social media and this is sharing ideas worth sharing and having your virtual tribe thanks to that. I just think it’s being used wrong.

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      • Everyone wants the world to know 3 things on social media:

        How happy they are
        How popular they are
        How fun their lives are

        Why do people want others to know this? If you are truly confident and secure within yourself – NO NEED OR DESIRE should exist to put anything on social media in the first place.

        Those who frequently indulge in social media should try a little introspection now and again and ask themselves – WHY am I posting this? The realization will soon dawn upon them!

        It’s because they are addicted to validation. Social media is essentially promotion of the self. The advancement of the EGO above all else.

        Social media is a playground for people to boast, brag and show off. Why else would you truly post anything if attracting attention is not your ultimate goal?

        I have heard it said that social media is all about sharing your life with other people and connecting with your audience. I would strongly disagree for the following reason. There is a saying ‘I don’t trust words, I even question actions, but patterns I never doubt’.

        Firstly, if people were truly interested in sharing their lives with others and ‘connecting’ – I would argue that people would be sharing every aspect of their lives with you, including 90% of the stuff that goes on behind the scenes that they would never dream of posting e.g. failed relationships, problems with marriages, the rebellious son whose just gone to prison for theft, etc. In other words, people would be sharing both the positives and negatives of their daily lives.

        But what actually happens in REALITY. People SELECT the good bits and leave out the bad bits. If something is SELECTIVE, it’s not representative of the truth! Your essentially slicing reality to your own liking! Your providing your audience with an incomplete picture of your life and who you are. Therefore, you are being disingenuous by definition.

        You are not sharing your life and connecting with people ultimately – because you’re crafting a curated version of yourself to the world and presenting it as the norm.

        I see irony in everything. There is nothing ‘SOCIAL’ in social media because all your communications are taking place through a computer screen! It seems to me that social media basically boils down to people sitting back in the comfort of their homes – trying to convince everyone else they are living an awesome life (when in reality nothing could be further from the truth)

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