Review: Date-Onmics by Jon Birger

For all those single girls out there (like yours truly) who have to deal with constant questions about when they plan on finding a man and settling – this book has ALL the answers and comebacks you’ll ever need.

I’m not exactly a rocket scientist or anything like that but I’ve been on dates with some seriously stupid dudes. To the extent, that I was told by one lovely Afrikaans guy that I needed to stop trying to ‘out-clever’ him (his words not mine). I don’t recall the conversation being overly intellectual to begin with. Actually I think we were just discussing the weather 😉 There was even a point where I thought maybe it was my ‘immaturity’ that was attracting such idiots.  But this book uses statistical evidence to prove that it really isn’t us girls, it’s them!

The book provides a detailed mathematical analysis to show that the number of university-educated women significantly outnumbers university educated men in much of the USA. While much of the research is based on universities in America I think the trends they talk about are more or less true for most Western societies or even the world in general.

So what? Women are cleverer than men – nothing new there. Yay for us! Surely that’s a good thing, right? Nope. Not really. Especially when it comes to dating. This ‘Man-Deficit’ as Jon Birger calls it isn’t a good thing for us girls. To overcome it either we have to move to a place or work in an industry which is more male dominated or some of us have to take one for the team and ‘date-down’ and settle for someone who is not our intellectual equal.

Seems a little bleak, right? But maybe dating a clever guy isn’t a deal breaker for everyone. And plus life isn’t all about being book smart. There are many highly ‘intellectual people’ who don’t know a thing about the world and have no emotional intelligence when it comes to interacting with other human beings. Surely, it is harder to date someone who is socially awkward than someone who might just not be as well read. Being street smart and having a bit of banter definitely counts for something, and that doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with having a university degree.

Beyond our selfish needs of finding the right husband, the book also describes how the ‘Man-Defecit’ has wider implications for society.  The fact that there are more guys than girls at university campuses contributes to the growth of hook-up culture and a greater willingness to push sexual boundaries . One of the chicks interviewed said she gave away her V-card in a threesome basically because she felt that despite being an attractive girl no man would be willing to have a real relationship with her when he has the upper hand and could play the field for as long as he wanted.

Then things get even more complicated when you add other non-negotiables into the mix, such as religion. The author does some in-depth analysis into how the man-deficit has effected behaviour within Orthodox Jewish and Mormon communities. To simplify things, women are having to work harder to get a man’s attention (boobs jobs are more popular with Mormons than you’d think), many are effectively forced to marry outside the community (oh dear God…could there be anything worse?), we are seeing an increase in the number of mummy’s boys (no kidding!) and the pressure of not finding the right man is getting too much for some as suicide rates and eating disorders amongst women increase. Not all fun and games.

Anyway, the book is worth a read. Full of interesting findings which won’t really help you find Prince Charming but will at least prove to you and everyone that you aren’t all that picky and it’s not all your fault that your still single (and FABULOUS!).