Home Wrecker! – Is the existence of the Other Woman ever justified?

homewrecker/other woman

By now most of us have realised that this world is a not such a perfect place and certainly not the land of butterflies and talking teapots that Disney promised. The world is full of bad, bad men (and women). People who are so damaged that they get kicks out of inflicting pain on others. Even those who are not total Ashley Madison type lost causes are still out there looking for a quick hook-up. It seems like the option of having a wholesome, decent relationship/marriage is no longer appealing to much of society – why stick to one man/women all your life when you can have your pick of them with such easy access to orgies, swinger’s parties and strip clubs?

The fact is though, we are all part of this hopeless place in which we reside not just innocent bystanders as we’d like to think. The sad truth is not everyone scouting for ‘love’ is necessarily going to be single. The best proof of this are the many ‘single men’ who use pictures of themselves alongside their brides on Tinder. The chances are at some point all of us hotties are likely to be propositioned by a guy who is already attached in some way, whether it be that they are married, engaged or in some sort of decade long loveless relationship will a troll-ess. And yes, maybe he is smoking hot and charming (hence his ability to play the field as he does) – but is it ever OK to consider becoming his Other Woman (OW)?

Of course it’s not wrong to consider the option. After all, you are a free agent and it’s a free market economy. One could argue that in a place like Cape Town where there are 8 women to every man, it’s up to the chicks who have men to keep them suitably entertained. Because if they can’t, the man’s eyes are bound to wander and will eventually land on some other pretty little thing. And all is fair in Love and War, right?

Hmmm…. Even if one looks at it from a purely selfish point of view and says why should I care about the feelings of his no-name chick at home?  It’s important to think about the wider implications of our actions – on his SO, the kids, on him, on yourself and society in general. At the end of the day, if you don’t become the Home Wrecker in this situation, an unsatisfied man will surely find someone else to be his bit on the side? Exactly! There you have the answer…you are replaceable! Regardless of what he says and however good looking he is, the truth is he is a CHEATER. As the famous saying goes – if he cheats WITH you, he’ll cheat ON you.   

So if the fact that by becoming a Home Wrecker your actions are likely to cause intense heartbreak to some poor chick and maybe some even more innocent kids (cos you know these cheaters are probably hiding a handful legit babies at home) isn’t enough justification not to act, ask yourself, whether you really want to pursue something with such morally-inept jerk? Yes, there are instances where the OW eventually becomes the Wifey. But really is this how we want our fairytale to begin? Do you really want to the Oscar for best supporting actress in yet another one of these sordid stories that litters our world?

No! Remember you are a Princess, The Leading Lady, not just a lowly OW!! Maybe, you are experiencing a severe sex drought and a romp in a field of daisies seems like a great idea, but its not (you are not an ANIMAL!). I understand it sometimes feels like Prince Charming is never going to arrive, but he is on his way I promise. So don’t lower yourself to the level of this cheater, don’t be a Home Wrecker! Send this silly fool on his way in the direction of some Long Street hooker, or if he is a tech-savvy kinda fella give him a link to Ashley Madison and CC his SO into the email. And then get on with your life and find yourself a real Mr Darcy.

So Rinsers, please provide your insights and moral wisdom in the comments below. Feel free to hate on OWs if you’d like. Or maybe you are/were an OW and you’d like to share your experiences with us…Go ahead!


      • hmmmmThe other woman in my case was my ex girlfriend …I cheated with her on my ex wife. The ex girlfriend didn’t let me forget that she said she felt guilty but she stayed in the relationship for two years with me. One thing I would like to clean up is this thought that once a cheater always a cheater…that isn’t true. I know after the experience that I have been through for the past few years …I am not going down that path again. I am married to a wonderful woman who respected my past as ugly as it was and saw a future with me. If you don’t learn from your mistake yes you will repeat them but for me the consequences was severe enough for me to know that there won’t be a repeat of that again.

        Liked by 1 person

      • So…OK, maybe a person can change. But I think the CHEATER in the relationship is not an innocent party. Therefore my post was intended to tell the OW, that she too is a victim in these situations and therefore protect herself by not getting involved in the first place.

        Even your example proves my point, your OW ex girlfriend never forgave for what you guys did…it was clearly a rocky foundation upon which to build a sustainable relationship.

        I’m glad you saw the error of your ways and found a nice lady who could see past that. I am not sure I would…but then again I am a bit of an idealist and a general child in the whole game of life 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I never said that I was an innocent party. The issues in my first marriage I didn’t handle well if I did things would have possible been different. There was more to the ex and I breaking up but that was a sore point for her…and mind you I gave a lot to be with her in the first place.


  1. Sure, EnglishRosiee, you are just trying to be controversial! Ouch!

    I will never part from the idea the people in the relationship are the only two who are responsible to each other. You can’t make a person do something that he or she does not want to do, after all. You are merely providing an option; plus, when is a relationship every black and white? They are messy and if anything the Other Woman just exposes that a bit more.

    In my past, I have pursued guys who were in relationships, but after a steamy make out session, I release them back to their lives… Hopefully they took a look at their relationships to analyse why they stepped out of it with me. What was missing that they sought or accepted the attention of someone else. The Other Woman may ultimately be the wake up call in someone’s relationship that has gone sour! No one in good, healthy, communicative relationships would welcome the Other Woman or Other Man. Yep! I still believe that it is 100% the responsibility of the two people in the relationship.

    P.S: there is an excellent book called the Ethical Slut! You should see if you can get it on Kindle!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What an interesting read for a Wednesday afternoon. This part of the world cheating has become the norm with both women and men cheating left, right and centre like its nothing. I blame the countless hooking up options that are not available to us in this era.
    I wrote about the OW a couple of months back you can read it over here >> https://makupsy.wordpress.com/2014/10/13/the-other-woman/
    But the long and the short of it is that being second place in your supposed “man” is never a good feeling, women should be patient enough to wait for someone they can call their own.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yup. Even if the tell you that you are they are number one and that they’ll leave their SO for you…remember it’s unlikely. Give them the ultimatum, see if he actually leaves … doubt it!


      • They will never leave, trust me! And even if he does, i doubt you would feel secure in that relationship thinking he might do the same to you.

        Liked by 1 person

    • Actually, back in the day when marriage was more of a social/financial transaction, Other Women and Other Men were way more common! It was expected to take a lover or mistress in some situations. It wasn’t until marriage got tied to the concept of love did this situation become “bad.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been the OW before. It’s not justified. But when you are in that position you try to tell yourself (or he convinces you) that he’ll leave the wife/long-term girlfriend for you. You fall for his stories. Maybe he will and maybe he won’t but either way you are playing with trouble. He is the bad guy and people will get hurt. It’s horrible when the whole facade falls.

    Liked by 1 person

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